Blash's Blog

Kessler Likes Singer-Songwriters

2011-10-20T07:36:00.000-04:00

After my one man re-enactment of Veggie Tales' The Hairbrush Song this morning, I switched the music over to One Republic. Kessler kept saying, "Want play guitar, Daddy." So, eager to please and impress my son, I sold out and went all air-guitar to One Republic's guitarless synth.

Kessler said, "No Daddy, want play guitar on Daddy's pooter."

"Oh, you want me to play a song on the computer that has a guitar in it?"

"Yeah."

I started at the top of my iTunes list and quickly selected Track 6 of Andrew Osenga's Letter To The Editor, Vol. 1. The open was a 10 second guitar strum.

Kessler was happy.

I Wan To Do Do Go To Town!

2011-06-28T22:01:00.001-04:00

Life's been moving fast recently. Lots of exciting things have been happening and we have lots to be thankful for.

One of the many things we have to be thankful for is The Little Guy. He is more fun each day as he develops language, a sense of humor, coordination, and a sweet disposition.

Ashley taught him a new game last night and he LOVED it. It's called Go To Town.

This Is Not A Painting

2011-05-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

I can not stop looking at this photo.* It's the National Geographic Photo of the Day from yesterday and supposedly, it's not some magical work of photoshop or a paintbrush. It's an actual photograph.

That orange backdrop is the reflection of the rising sun off a dune in Namibia. The trees are a very real part of one of the country's largest national parks.

Surreal; never has a word been more, and less, apropos than that one to describe something as it does this photo.

*This sentence is likely somewhat false. If taken literally, it is completely false. It is fully within my power to stop looking at the photo and I've been able to avert my eyes more than ten times even since writing that sentence. If taken figuratively, it is somewhat false. My intention was not to deceive, but the phrasing leaves a lot up to the reader to interpret in order to determine my actual degree of interest in looking at the photo. For instance, it is conceivable that I would use the same phrase to describe my interest in a photograph that I am actually one hundred times more interested in. In which case, the reader would, for one of the photos or the other, be off by a factor of one hundred when estimating my actual interest in the photo. The reader's interpretation of my interest level matters because in their mind it is a communication of my values. How the reader interprets something isn't necessarily my responsibility, but attempting to communicate the appropriate sentiment is. I was using the sentence as an expression to communicate that I am slightly mesmerized by the aesthetic of the photograph combined with the knowledge that it is just a photograph, in a this-is-a-random-photo-of-landscape-not-a-picture-of-my-wife-and-son sort of way. One could argue that expressions like the one I used do more harm than good when trying to express thoughts on any matter. Have a nice day.

Kessler's First Year

2011-01-08T22:49:00.001-05:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Moses Is Coming Home

2011-01-08T22:06:00.000-05:00

Our friends, Abby and Daniel Umlauf, announced in September 2008 that they were going to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia. After a painstaking 13-month wait for a referral, they finally got pictures of their little boy. They named him Moses.

Five months later, over a year and a half after they began the process, they were informed the region where Moses is from was closed to adoption and they would not be able to adopt the boy they'd thought of as their son. The same day, they got a call that another referral came in for a boy in another region which was open for adoption. In one day they felt like they lost one son, but gained another. The second boy is Asher, who was finally able to come home this past August, nearly 2 years after the Umlaufs started the process.

A few days ago, they got word their first son, Moses, had miraculously become available for adoption. And they're going for it. He is their son, after all. After working tirelessly to save and do fundraisers with the help of committed friends to raise the $20,000 or so needed for their first adoption, they now have 1 month to raise about $14,000 to bring home their 16-month old son.

Please consider a tax-deductible donation to help bring Moses home. The details are on their blog:

http://comehomemoses.blogspot.com/

This is Asher, followed by the story of how they decided on the name Moses:

Told by Abby at the time they decided to adopt:

Three years ago, I told Daniel that I loved the name Moses. He quickly told me "no way."

This summer Daniel was reading the Old Testament and read that Moses was the only prophet that met God face to face. He got a little more excited about the name.

The next day I listened to a John Piper sermon on adoption and realized Moses was one of the three adopted children in the OT.

I looked up what Moses meant and read "saved" "pulled from the water" "adopted." I emailed Daniel at work to tell him that and he said "well I guess we will have an Ethiopian son named Moses."

Two weeks later, I went out to eat with my grandparents and asked them their parents and grandparent's names. My gaga who is a special person in my life said his grandfather's name was Moses. That was it, we were meant to have a son named Moses!!!

Ashley finally posts!!!!!!

2010-12-09T21:55:00.000-05:00

After 6 years, Blake and I are each taking huge steps in our marriage. First of all, I (Ashley) am writing a blog post. No post on the blog to this point (entitled BlASH's blog), has ever been authored by the latter half of it's namesake. Sad, but true. So that's what I'm doing.

Now, if you know my blonder half, you should know that he's quite practical. Much to my initial chagrin, I have come to appreciate, nay, adore this practicality. For example, a month's supply of Pampers magically appears on our front porch the 16th of every month for a lower price per diaper than we could find at any local retailer. What? Yep. You wish your husband was so practical.

There must be a catch! Well, sometimes that practicality overrides the emotional and irrational desire you have to do something, like order an overpriced coke at dinner or send Christmas cards. Some people might say, "Why would we print pictures on paper when we have a blog to display our pictures to friends and family?" But I, ahem, some other people, LOVE seeing the smiling faces of friends and family as they trickle into the mailbox througout December. And honestly, don't you get a little flutter in your heart when you open the mailbox to a letter hand-addressed to you?

This year we are sending Christmas cards! Is it because we have an incredibly adorable son whose face would look great on a Christmas photo card? Yes. But also because Shutterfly is giving us the opportunity to try the Christmas card tradition for FREE this year! We get 50 free photo cards just for posting about it! There are over 800 designs to choose from. I haven't made a decision about which one I'll choose but this is a cute one:

Shutterfly does Christmas gifts, too. And what self-respecting grandparent wouldn't cherish a gift mug with their grandchild's picture on it?

We know you didn't come to our blog to hear about our precious son and not see a picture, so here's a little teaser.

Thanksgiving Video 2010

2010-12-08T17:36:00.002-05:00

Forgot to post this.

It was fun to have the fam together over Thanksgiving weekend and to watch Kessler interact with all his girly cousins.

Kessler Gets A Flu Shot

2010-11-27T09:51:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago Kessler got his first flu shot. He was totally fine after crying for about 30 seconds. I just loved his epic silent cry and had to share it.

Our Son Loves To Swing

2010-10-21T23:37:00.001-04:00

From The Bowels Of My Brain X

2010-10-21T07:40:00.003-04:00

This one is for all U.S. Americans, and for people in other countries that don't have maps.

We're debuting our first Bowels sponsor in this edition of From The Bowels Of My Brain.

>> One of life's greatest joys is picking up things with your feet.

>> You can never have enough chip clips.

>> I feel better about myself after I trim my neck hair.

>> I HAVE to trim my fringanails and toenails at least once a week.

>> I wonder what I'll think about some of these bowels when I'm sixty.

>> Who am I kidding? These are all inarguable, timeless truths.

>> Following financial news daily makes you 30% less happy

>> Following political news daily makes you 90% less happy

>> Following financial and political news daily sucks all your happiness away, plus 20% of the happiness of those with whom you interact.

>> Dryer sheets as fabric softener actually work.

>> There's no such thing as normal.

>> The absolute best way to limit face wrinkles is to limit your use of any facial expressions, keep a poker face at all times.*

>> It also helps to drink lots of water and use a daily lotion with SPF.

>> Everything over a baby monitor sounds a lot worse than it actually is.

>> The little loop in the tongue of a tennis shoe is helpful.

That's all I got for ya today.

Sayonara sweeties.

*Brought to you by Lady GaGa.

Kessler In The Tub

2010-10-19T23:08:00.001-04:00

Ashley does his baths in the sink, but since he hit his head on the metal the first 3 times I tried to bathe him in the sink, I like to use the blow-up baby bathtub in the big bathtub. He was in an especially good mood one evening, so I grabbed the camera.

"Kessler Needs To Wash His Hair"

2010-10-19T11:43:00.001-04:00

A couple months ago I posted how I love kid conversations. Stories of what kids say and do consistently make me smile and often make me laugh.

This morning Livy came over to the house. Livy and Kessler were each in a really good mood. Livy finished coloring and was eating breakfast. Kessler was crawling all over the house, banging a big spoon on the floor, and pulling up on the furniture. He moseyed into the kitchen near Livy while she was eating. Ashley then got a phone call and I went to brush my teeth. I start walking back toward the kitchen and hear Livy say, "Kessler needs to wash his hair." I look down and see Kessler's head dripping with white fluid. I look over and see Livy's "big-girl" cup, once half-full of milk, now empty.

Kessler: 9 Months

2010-10-18T23:00:00.001-04:00

He's actually over 10 months old now, but this is from around his 9 month birthday.

Music Monday | Ben Harper

2010-10-18T07:23:00.002-04:00

I borrowed a friend's Ben Harper mix and popped it in my car CD player for my ride back to college one weekend. It was late on a Sunday evening. The song caught me off guard and blew me away. I listened to it probably 5 times in a row.

I want to be ready.

Kessler Wants The Football

2010-10-17T23:05:00.001-04:00

There was a ball about 5 feet away from him. He was a slow crawler. He really wanted the ball.

Life In Bullets

2010-10-17T22:47:00.000-04:00

There's a lot of catching up to do so I'll have to trickle some catch-up posts over the next few weeks.
There's been a lot of life happening lately, so much so that I haven't really had a chance to write about it.
The biggest thing is that the adoption I blogged about last Christmas is becoming a reality.
Heather and Gardner went to Uganda 3 weeks ago today and cleared courts for their new little girl.
She's adorable and we hope to meet her in a week or 2 if they can get the VISA. More updates to come on this.
While Heather and Gardner were in Uganda (Gardner is home now) Ashley and I kept their 2 year old daughter, Livy. It was a lot of fun, double the desire to get home from work in the afternoon, but it was also a lot of work. We started the same day after hearing a sermon on dying to self. I felt like I really got to put it into practice.
We've had weddings and High School Reunions and various other events which will have to be discussed further.
Kessler, meanwhile, has become a busy body. He's all over the place; crawling, pulling up, pushing toys while walking, climbing stairs (!), imitating us, communicating more, stomping with his hands, opening drawers, falling a lot, bruising and cutting his previously flawless little face, et cetera, et cetera.
Ashley has been Supermom 2x while making sure Kessler is cared for and serving as a wonderful "Sissy" while taking care of Livy for a little over 2 weeks.
I've started writing for a Chargers' site. And the Chargers are now 2-4. I hate being a fan of anything, but I keep going back to it. More on this later.
My work has been busy and I have some more responsibility now. It's good, but has made managing everything a bit more of a challenge.
It's 10:43pm and I'm really sleepy, which almost never happens.
Expect some more updates prominently featuring pictures of the little guy, stories about the adoption, and Bowels Of My Brain over the next couple weeks.
Don't do drugs.

Music Monday | G. Love & Special Sauce II

2010-09-13T06:53:00.002-04:00

Another fun one, perhaps my favorite "fun" song:

Music Monday | G. Love & Special Sauce

2010-09-06T06:51:00.000-04:00

A fun one here:

Music Monday | Bon Iver

2010-08-30T07:40:00.003-04:00

Another artist where I could have posted a number of songs. This is the song, though, that made me fall in love with Bon Iver's music.

Nature And Stress

2010-08-24T18:31:00.002-04:00

First, Kahn stressed out his participants by giving them a series of math tests. Then he placed some people in front of a window overlooking a grassy lawn with trees, others in front of a large plasma television screen displaying the lawn in real time, and still others in front of a blank wall. As expected, those in front of the window experienced the quickest drop in stress levels, as measured by their decreasing heart rate. Participants also spent far more time looking out the window and at the plasma screen than at the blank wall. But the researchers found an unexpected result.

“Surprisingly, the blank wall and the plasma screen were no different in terms of stress reduction,” said Ruckert. Their study indicates that gazing at an authentic natural space reduces stress, whereas a digital replica of nature soothes only as well as a boring blank wall.

I dig these types of studies. Read the rest of the short entry from Wired Magazine here.

Music Monday | The Arcade Fire

2010-08-23T07:37:00.002-04:00

I could post about any of their songs, but I'll go with this one for the way it fills the moment.

From The Bowels Of My Brain IX

2010-08-21T07:42:00.003-04:00

Let's get it started in heeeeeeere.

Running, running and running, running:

>> "For your convenience" means you're about to be inconvenienced.

>> "With all due respect" means you are about to be disrespected.

>> "We're unable to make it" means your party sounds lame.

>> "Please listen as our menu options have recently changed" means we changed our automated voice response menu options a year or two ago but it was really annoying to change them so now we don't feel like updating the pre-recorded message.

>> "To make a long story short" makes your story longer.

>> Based on a lengthy study and in-depth statistical analysis I have determined that 79% of the time someone writes "lol" they are lying. This is assuming you still believe "lol" means "laugh out loud" instead of the definition I've adopted; "A response used to acknowledge that something is either funny or an acknowledgment that someone attempted to provoke laughter or provide amusement"

>> Billion dollar idea: Bananas that don't bruise.

>> And I wouldn't even know how to spell bananas were it not for Gwen Stefani.

>> One of the many great things about From The Bowels Of My Brain is that you get to relearn your Roman Numerals.

>> Whoever wrote the ABC song should've made the whole L M N O P section a little easier for the children.

Until next time, peoples. Gohead doyur thang.

Hey Dada

2010-08-18T23:31:00.000-04:00

Kessler has gradually started to say "Dadadada" and "Hey Dada" enough as a response to seeing me that we think we can confidently say that's what he's saying. While he doesn't understand what it means that I'm his dad, it's still pretty fun.

Hey Kessler.

Music Monday | The National

2010-08-16T07:19:00.001-04:00

"We're half awake in a fake empire. We're half awake in a fake empire."

Music Monday | Fleet Foxes

2010-08-09T07:18:00.001-04:00

Bath.

2010-08-04T22:30:00.001-04:00

Kid Conversations

2010-08-03T18:10:00.018-04:00

Kid dialogue is the best.

I guess we've gotten to the age where a lot of our friends have kids. And those kids do say the darndest things. The things I laugh at the most on twitter are 140 character kid stories. Like when @sarah16 tweeted this a few days ago. Or this, when @McKieDJ was tucking his seven year old in to bed.

Then there's the kid dialogue that I get to witness in person, like when Ashley walked into the kids' classroom at church on a cold morning and was greeted by a six year old with, "Pssst. You have a red nose." Ashley couldn't quite hear her and said, "Huh?" The girl, in the loudest whisper she could muster said, "You have a red nose!"

Well one night during dinner at the beach with Ashley's family, our 2 year old niece, Livy, provided some fun kid dialogue.

She chugged her cup of water, set it down abruptly, looked at her mom and sweetly said, "More water."
Heather said, "What do you say?"
Livy said, "More water."
Heather said, "No, what do you say?"
Livy, still calm, said, "More water."
Heather firmly said, "Livy, what do you say?!"
Livy said, "MOOOOOORRRRE WAAAATERRRR!"
And we all laughed uproariously.

Eventually she did say "peese" and she wasn't trying to be defiant. It was a lot of fun to watch her brain process it all. She let out the cutest giggle when we all laughed.

Kessler isn’t saying much more than “blababababwa” or “EeeeeOooo!” now, but I’m pretty excited about the endless supply of comedy he'll provide throughout his toddler and elementary school days. After that he'll probably just be annoying and have stinky armpits ( I jest. I jest).

Music Monday | Mumford & Sons

2010-08-02T07:13:00.000-04:00

Cold is the water

It freezes your already cold mind

Already cold, cold mind

And death is at your doorstep

And it will steal your innocence

But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this

And you are not alone in this

As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand

Hold your hand

And you are the mother

The mother of your baby child

The one to whom you gave life

And you have your choices

And these are what make man great

His ladder to the stars

But you are not alone in this

And you are not alone in this

As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand

Hold your hand

And I will tell the night

Whisper, "Lose your sight"

But I can't move the mountains for you

The Difference A Year Makes

2010-07-30T07:58:00.000-04:00

One year ago we were at Holden Beach and I took a picture of Ashley, and the little guy in utero, except at the time we didn't know the sex of this child, or the child's name, or that the child would have a smile that lights up the room and the sweetest disposition in the world.

This year, I snapped a picture of the same people in the same spot and it looks quite different.

Kessler's First Lie

2010-07-27T07:25:00.002-04:00

Our usual weekday rhythm is Ashley gets up around 6:15 to shower while I relish my last prone moments. I listen to the monitor and wait for Kessler to let us know he's tired of laying in his topless cage.

One particular morning while I'm on monitor duty, Kessler starts to fuss a little with some soft grunts and quiet squeals. Longing for a few more minutes of shut-eye, I hope and wish for him to calm on his own. Maybe one minute passes and he gets quiet. Shwew! I could finally go back to sleep. Thirty seconds of silence pass and I think I'm safe. Then, it happens.

He begins to cough as if he's a Newsie trying to sell his last pape. I give him a few measures before deciding I need to go check on him in case something is actually wrong, even though he didn't show any signs of sickness the night before. I peel myself off the mattress, shuffle into his room, slowly open the door and peek my head around the corner. As soon as our eyes meet, this is the face I see. He starts wiggling his legs and laughing. He didn't cough again for a week.

This is an actual picture from that morning. I ran and grabbed my camera. He was so cute and it was such a unique moment, I knew I needed to memorialize it. Remembering your baby's first steps is way overdone. The cool thing now is remembering your baby's first lie.

Music Monday | The Weepies

2010-07-26T07:07:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands.

YouTube - Life In A Day

2010-07-23T11:13:00.000-04:00

YouTube is organizing the creation of a film made by you on Saturday, July 24. This is a really cool concept. I plan to participate and you should too. Some may think it's just a way for YouTube to exploit its users for financial gain, but I'm going to give them credit for trying to add something to the world in an interesting way.

Check this out from Mashable:

YouTube has announced a project called Life in a Day, which attempts to document one day, July 24, seen through the camera lens of people around the world.

The project will be executive produced by Ridley Scott of Blade Runner and Gladiator and edited by Kevin Macdonald, best known for directing films such as The Last King of Scotland and One Day in September.

The film will premiere at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival; if your footage makes the final cut, you’ll be credited as a co-director, and 20 contributors will be selected to attend the premiere. If you’re hoping for financial gain, however, you’ll be disappointed; for this one, glory is your only reward.

To contribute to the project, you need to capture July 24, 2010, on camera, and upload the footage to the Life in the Day channel sometime before July 31. As for what your footage should consist of, YouTube wants you to have no limits, to be personal, to film anyone you like and to preferably film the footage in high resolution. You can find a full set of guidelines over at the official channel.

An introductory video for the project:

From The Bowels Of My Brain VIII

2010-07-23T06:35:00.026-04:00

It's time for the eighth compilation of what I think about when I'm not thinking about anything.

Choo-choo:

>> Words matter.

>> Punching a police officer after getting pulled over for speeding is not a good idea.

>> A well-run business is, to me, truly beautiful.

>> Being responsible for a kid while you're there drastically changes the experience of eating at a restaurant.

>> "Understood", for some reason, looks funny to me when written.

>> You ever thought about how many cows had to die for them to perfect the recipe for Hamburger Helper?

>> Pain is about perspective

>> Those executive games people have in their office feel archaic.

>> Been doing it for 5 years and if there's one thing I've learned about investing in stocks it's that I don't know anything about investing in stocks.

>> Bad breath is the most under-discussed, awkward-interaction-maker there is. I feel like I'm changing that one Bowels Of My Brain at a time.

>> You know how when you get near the end of the shampoo bottle, you start using smaller amounts to make it last and still get the same clean hair. We should just use smaller amounts the whole time.

>> Toilet paper is more efficient for blowing snot into than facial tissue. (You really think I'm going to give Kleenex a free mention in From The Bowels Of My Brain?!)

>> Do we still really need those random 4-letter combinations that start with a W to identify radio stations? No. The answer is no.

>> If it's your birthday, happy birthday.

Hasta luego señoritas

Music Monday | Foy Vance - Hallelujah

2010-07-19T08:23:00.000-04:00

This is the millionth version of the song, but the song's a classic and Foy does it justice. The payoff comes around the 4 minute mark.

Kessler With Tia

2010-07-18T00:29:00.002-04:00

Kessler with Tia after a day on the beach.
Tia = Aunt in Spanish

Beach - Large Group Photo

2010-07-16T23:29:00.000-04:00

It's a fun group.

Sitting from left to right: sis, cousin, other cousin's girlfriend, aunt, Meemaw, Mom, sis-in-law, niece, wife, son, Meghan with an h, Mama Kess, Meghan with an h's son Grady

Standing from left to right: random guy my sis met at the beach, cousin's boo, cousin, cousin, Hartman, Uncle T, Pops, Drizzle, B. Hill, Uncle Jak, Jimbo, B-Kibbs

Kessler Kisses

2010-07-16T12:22:00.007-04:00

Kessler's started this new thing in the past few weeks where he grabs your face with both hands and pulls it toward his. We call it a Kessler kiss. It feels sweet, even though he probably just thinks a human head is a more lively version of an O-Ball. Still, the guy is one of the coolest dudes ever. I'm not even kidding.

Cliche Family Photo

2010-07-15T23:25:00.000-04:00

From Ocean Isle Beach 2010.

The only non-Hill in the photo is this random guy my sister met while we were there. His name is Allan.

Music Monday | The Avett Brothers

2010-07-12T07:18:00.001-04:00

Beautifully written, musically and lyrically. And, they're fellow North Carolinians.

Music Monday | Broken Bells

2010-07-05T07:12:00.002-04:00

I've absolutely been digging these dudes recently. The whole album is fantastic.

Music Monday | Billie Jean Cover

2010-06-28T07:30:00.002-04:00

Sticking with Michael Jackson tribute this week.

Enjoyable cover of Billie Jean.

Super Mario Score

2010-06-26T23:39:00.001-04:00

Original Nintendo is the only gaming system we ever had as a kid. The theme music is forever in my mind.

So, these 103 seconds were quite enjoyable, both for the ingenuity and nostalgia. The multiple coins part made me yelp.

From The Bowels Of My Brain VII

2010-06-24T18:23:00.008-04:00

'Bout time for another "From The Bowels Of My Brain". Wait for it. Wait for it. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

And we're off:

>> So far, I think the best part of having a kid is that they can't do anything for themselves. Interestingly, that too is the worst part.

>> Some people just can't take advice.

>> The insert button on a keyboard drives me crazy.

>> I've found that when someone is having difficulty deciding between 2 options, the best thing to do is flip a coin. While it's in the air, or soon thereafter, their actual desire becomes clear.

>> Prediction for next huge diet fad: Tasteless, invisible, calorie-free meals.

>> I wonder if more money has been spent on anything as ugly as those hats they make you wear for graduation ceremonies.

>> I still get slightly more than a smidgen of satisfaction from winning my 8th grade Geography Bee.

>> If you're a waitress under 60 years old and you don't know me, you can't call me "darlin".

>> It seems beer has a monopoly on being "Ice cold"

>> It's impossible for the phrase "y'all come back" to not be accompanied by either "and see us" or "now ya hear"

>> Summer, use a light-weight bed spread. Winter, use a heavy bed spread. Save on heating and cooling year round. Thank me later.

>> Event organizers, adding "palooza" to a regular word for your event name does not make it more appealing.

>> Sleeping is the most boring thing I've ever done.

>> Truth be told, I'm not that big of a fan of U2's music.

>> Two of my new favorite things to say: Bocanegra and vuvuzela.

>> I'd like to use this sentence to question the world's need for Koozies.

>> Sometimes I wipe my lips with the back of my hand and then smell it to see if I have bad breath. #justbeinghonest

That's all for now. I have to go trim my ear hair.

Inside Costco

2010-06-23T19:19:00.001-04:00

ABC News did a little feature on Costco.

Nuggets from the piece:

Costco never charges more than 14 percent above cost for any item
It's the...ninth largest retailer in the world
It only carries about 4,000 unique products for sale at any one time. Compare that to a typical supermarket, which carries about 40,000 products, or a Wal-Mart store with about 125,000 products
Craziness. Costco snaps up 50 percent of the world's supply of the most popular cashew, selling $300,000 worth of them every week. The only product that sells more is that eternal necessity: toilet paper

I just thought all that was interesting.

Why Americans Don't Like Soccer

2010-06-22T06:28:00.004-04:00

From the Brazil-Ivory Coast game, this is Exhibit A for why Americans don't like soccer. It's also why Americans don't like Duke:

America's Relationship With Soccer

2010-06-21T22:00:00.002-04:00

"When children in the United States are very young, they believe that soccer is the most popular sport in the world. They believe this because every single child in America plays soccer. It is a rule that they play, a rule set forth in the same hoary document, displayed in every state capital, that insists that 6-year-olds also pledge allegiance to the flag—a practice which is terrifying to watch, by the way, good lord—and that once a year, they dress as tiny pilgrims with beards fashioned from cotton.

Saturdays, every flat green space in the continental United States is covered with tiny people in shiny uniforms, chasing the patchwork ball up and down the field, to the delight and consternation of their parents, most of whom have no idea what is happening. The primary force behind all of this is the American Youth Soccer Organization, or AYSO. In the 1970s, AYSO was formed to popularize soccer among the youth of America, and they did this with startling efficiency. Within a few years, soccer was the sport of choice for parents everywhere, particularly those who harbored suspicions that their children had no athletic ability whatsoever.

The beauty of soccer for very young people is that, to create a simulacrum of the game, it requires very little skill. There is no other sport that can bear such incompetence. With soccer, 22 kids can be running around, most of them aimlessly, or picking weeds by the sidelines, or crying for no apparent reason, and yet the game can have the general appearance of an actual soccer match. If there are three or four coordinated kids among the 22 flailing bodies, there will actually be dribbling, a few legal throw-ins, and a couple of times when the ball stretches the back of the net. It will be soccer, more or less.

Because they all play, most of America's children assume that soccer will always be a part of their lives. When I was 8, playing center midfielder for the undefeated Strikers (coached by the unparalleled Mr. Cooper), I harbored no life expectations other than that I would continue playing center midfielder until such time as I died. It never occurred to me that any of this would change."

- From Dave Eggers at Slate.com.

Read the whole thing here.

Music Monday | Michael Jackson Medley

2010-06-21T06:50:00.002-04:00

This week is the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's passing. This medley is a pretty good effort to pay him respect. Great vocals with impressive production.

Father's Day At The Lake

2010-06-21T02:25:00.003-04:00

To celebrate fathers and my first year having a child outside the womb when the calendar got to the Father's Day holiday, we went to my Uncle Terry's place at High Rock Lake. We jetted out of church and rolled down 52, getting there just in time for some good, ground and pattied cow muscle sandwiched between two pieces of leavened bread.

There were, I think, 10 fathers in attendance. It was a good crowd. Kessler was in a fantastic mood the entire day, well maybe not the entire day (see last photo), but he was a ton of fun. With lots of fun people to play with including his cute cousin, Honey Cate, and a plethora of stimuli, he didn't sleep in his normal patters. He just played and smiled and played and smiled. By the end of the day he was exhausted and just conked out on my chest. I'm not normally sappy, but there was just something about watching my son have one of the funnest days of his short life; play and play and play and then see him get sleepy, pick him up, hold him close and feel his totally relaxed body press into my chest on Father's Day evening.

My father with his grandbabies

Cute niece, Honey Cate

Playing in the baby pool

Kessler eying a ball!

Poor guy.

Sitting Up

2010-06-19T16:18:00.001-04:00

World Cup | Ball On Pitch

2010-06-15T06:53:00.002-04:00

Music Monday | Flobots

2010-06-14T06:59:00.003-04:00

A song about balance. A fun listen. Plus, it makes you think.

Six Months

2010-06-12T06:51:00.052-04:00

This past Monday marked six months from the day Kessler let out his first cry. To celebrate this extremely momentous occasion, Kessler got the pleasure of having some puréed butternut squash. Mmmmmm.

At first he was a little wary of this mushy orange goodness.

But he eventually warmed up and finished the entire serving.

He was a full, happy boy by the end.

Other than having his sixth cold in as many months, he remains a wonderful little guy. He sits up pretty well and is full of smiles and squeals. He loves to play in his exersaucer. He tips the scales right at 17 Lbs. and is a little longer than the average sixth month old. And cuter than the average bear.

World Cup | South Africa Team

2010-06-11T08:56:00.001-04:00

World Cup | Players To Watch

2010-06-11T06:49:00.001-04:00

More getting ready for the World Cup. It starts today!

Here's a list of 25 players to watch out for from Backpage Football:

25 Jesus Navas Spain
A classic winger with excellent speed and dribbling ability, Sevilla’s Jesus Navas has overcome chronic anxiety problems to make himself available for the Spanish national team this summer. Although a starting place in Vicente Del Bosque’s side is highly unlikely, Navas, who has nine goals and ten assists to his name this season, is in line to play a vital role as an impact substitute in South Africa. With players of Navas’ calibre coming off the bench, it’s no surprise that Spain are the overwhelming favourites to lift the World Cup on July 11th.
24 Wesley Sneijder Netherlands
Inter Milan’s midfield dynamo has been a fundamental part of Jose Mourinho’s bid for Scudetto and Champions League glory. After being disposed of from the latest Los Galacticos revolution at Real Madrid, the Dutchman will be lining out in his old stomping ground in May for the European Cup final. A hard working, vibrant midfield player who can score as well as create, Sneijder is a very important player in the Netherlands team.
23 Steven Pienaar South Africa
Pienaar is no doubt one of Everton’s and South Africa’s most talented players, and will be out to do his home nation proud when they host the World Cup this summer. Tricky, and a fantastic player with the ball at his feet, Pienaar is also capable of firing in a shot from anywhere, and is lethal in dead ball situations. There’s talk of him moving elsewhere this summer, and he has the perfect platform to show why clubs around Europe should be interested in him.
22 Steven Gerrard England
After a very disappointing season which saw Gerrard go another year without a medal, and another year without finally getting his hands on the Premier League title, Steven will be keen to go all the way with England. A hugely determined, inspirational player, don’t be surprised to see Gerrard pull the England side by himself in late stages of games such is his ability. A motivated player, there will only be one thing on his mind and that’s winning the trophy.
21 Franck Ribery France
Despite ending the season enveloped in scandal and innuendo, Franck Ribery is still one of France’s key players and his form will be vital if Raymond Domenech’s squad are to prove the doubters wrong in South Africa. A tricky, intelligent wide midfielder, Ribery has struggled to find his best form this season but has shown signs of returning to the top of his game of late, just in time to go to the World Cup.
20 Marek Hamsik Slovakia
Slovakian and Napoli attacker Marek Hamšík has exploded onto the scene this year in the Serie A as one of the best attacking midfielders around. A big summer with unlikely qualifiers Slovakia could set Hamsik up with a move away, possibly to a big European Cup. Marek is a vibrant, creative attacking midfield player who can score a goal or two, especially from long range. He will Slovakia’s most dazzling and talented players this summer.
19 Robin van Persie Netherlands
Arsenal striker Robin van Persie missed most of the season with an ankle injury sustained while on Dutch duty, and his absence was clear for all to see. But now that he’s back and raring to go, the front man who is arguably one of the best left footed players in the world will be up for a big summer with his nation. A tricky, vibrant forward who can score from almost anywhere on the pitch, RVP is a player you don’t take your eyes off of. He can score, create and do plenty of damage to even the best defenses.
18 Samuel Eto’o Cameroon
Inter Milan and Cameroon striker Samuel Eto’o has embedded himself well into life in Italy after moving from Barcelona. A part for some spells on the sideline, Eto’o has notched up twelve goals in just under thirty games for Il Nerazzurri. Without doubt Cameroon’s biggest player, Eto’o on his day is a striker to fear and will be amongst the scorers this summer in his home continent.
17 Landon Donovan USA
American talisman Landon Donovon spent a very successful three months in England with Everton this season, so well in fact that there are talks he could be returning next season for another spell in the Premier League. Over the past few years the LA Galaxy attacker has been the USA’s best and most important player as they climb up the soccer ladder. A nation where football isn’t even in its top three sports, Donovon has been a remarkable spokesperson for the game in the States and all eyes will be on his side this summer as football fever hits America.
16 Yoann Gourcuff FranceThe France and Bordeaux star is another rising young attacking midfielder with plenty of ability and craft to do some damage at the World Cup. At just 23, Gourcuff has plenty of experience under his belt at both club and international level, and has been repeatedly linked with a big move away from Ligue Un. With this man on form, he’ll be just as important to Domenech’s side as Ribery.
15 Gonzalo Higuain Argentina
Against all adds, and millions upon millions of euros, Argentinian striker Gonzalo Higuain still remains Real Madrid’s most potent striker and an integral part of their squad. In such an unpredictable environment, it is unsure whether or not Higuain will be even called up by Maradona ahead of the likes of Carlos Tevez and Sergio Aguero, but there is no doubt he deserves a place on the plane. Gonzalo has scored a remarkable 25 La Liga goals in just 28 games this season, but his time with La Albiceleste has been limited, with only four caps and two goals. But if he plays, except a handful of goals from the unlikely Galactico.
14 Sergio Aguero ArgentinaAguero is the son-in-law of head coach Diego Maradona, and regarded as the hottest talent on the planet, Atletico Madrid’s star striker is set for a big summer in South Africa. Aguero is a deadly striker with superb movement off the ball, scoring twenty goals this season in Spain. At just 21, Sergio has gained twenty-one international caps for Argentina. The future’s bright for this man, will it explode this summer?
13 Kaka BrazilWhat more could be said for the player Real Madrid spent over €50million last summer? Kaka is without doubt one of the best players on the planet. A dynamic magician who oozes guile and talent, Kaka is in line for another big summer with Brazil as they go on the prowl for an amazing sixth World Cup victory.
12 Andres Iniesta SpainYet another Spanish inclusion, but nobody can disregard the importance of El Ilusionista to Spain and Barcelona, be it from the start or off the bench. Iniesta has grown into one of the most talented players in the world, more then capable of holding his own in amongst the Barça superstars. A home grown talent, Iniesta is creative, extremely industrial and has an amazing knack of playing well anywhere on the field. Just as important a component to Pique at the back, Cassilas in goals or even Xavi alongside him in the centre.
11 Luis Fabiano Brazil
Some might be wondering why the Sevilla and Brazil striker is so high in our list, but with such an impressive international goal tally he might be a surprise top scorer in the competition. Fabiano was Brazil’s number one striker at the Confederations Cup last year, as they went all the way. A similar set up this year could see Fabiano amongst the high scorers, but there is no certainty the big man will be given the chance.
10 Carlos Tevez ArgentinaA player that is never short of controversy, it has been a huge season for Carlito at his new home in Manchester. Nobody could have predicted such a campaign for Tevez, who introduced himself to the world with a fine World Cup in Germany back in 2006, before making a shock switch to West Ham. Tevez has netted twenty-three times this season for the blue half of Manchester, and having broken free from the chains that held him back at Old Trafford, Carlos is showing exactly what he is capable. Expect a fine World Cup from this man.
9 David Villa Spain
Arguably Europe’s most potent striker, Valencia and Spain’s David Villa has enjoyed another superb domestic season, scoring an incredible 21 goals in 30 La Liga appearances. Usually deployed in a strike partnership with Fernando Torres for the national team, his intelligence off the ball and ruthlessness on it will make him a real contender for the Golden Boot in South Africa.
8 Ronaldinho Brazil
The AC Milan forward may have hit a drop in his dazzling career, but you just can’t write off the man who was previously regarded as the best player on the planet. With his sublime trickery and skills, and ability to score amazing goals out of nothing, Ronaldinho will always be a player you just got to look out for wherever he is. Not guaranteed a spot in the starting eleven, but watch out for glimpses of the Ronnie of old this summer.
7 Xavi Spain
Barcelona’s creative maestro, Xavi is one of the most consistently brilliant players in world football. With a passing ability second to none, the Spanish midfielder has sublime vision and ability on the ball, talents which allow the players around him to flourish and fulfill their potential. For Del Bosque the equation is simple, if Xavi plays well his team plays well. This could be the tournament which finally affords Xavi the deserved recognition as one of the greatest of all time.
6 Fernando Torres SpainLike most at Liverpool, it was a season of under performance and disappointment for Torres who spent most of the season on the injury table. But that didn’t stop him scoring a mighty fine twenty-two goals in just thirty-two games, showing how lethal a performer he can be even when not at full match fitness. Torres scored the winning goal for Spain in Euro 2008, and will be hoping to take them all the way again with another handful of goals.
5 Didier Drogba Ivory Coast
The Chelsea and Ivory Coast powerhouse has shown this season that he is one of the most clinical and most feared striker on the planet. Drogba is the captain of Ivory Coast, and will be fired up to take his nation as far as they can go, he’s certainly good enough. The Africans are more then capable of going into the knockout stages, so expect the big forward to be amongst the goals and plaudits this summer after what has been a stunning season for Didier.
4 Cesc Fabregas Spain
Arsenal talisman Cesc Fabregas isn’t even guaranteed a starting berth in the Spanish team, such is the depth of their midfield quality, but when he does Cesc usually stands out as an amazing performer, and on his day – one of the best in the world. He holds all the distributing attributes of Xavi, with a fierce attacking instinct that can lead to goals as well as assists. It is hard to believe Cesc is only 22-years-old, he’s been around so long and has matured into one of the finest midfield players on the planet. It won’t be his last World Cup, but in one where Spain are amongst the favourites to go all the way, he’s their one to watch.
3 Cristiano Ronaldo Portugal Number three on our list is the most expensive man ever to trade hands in the world of football, Cristiano Ronaldo. The £80million man is a super-athlete with trickery you cannot imagine, and a strike of a football that no-one can match. Portugal will not be expected to go all the way, but with this man on form don’t rule them out just yet.

2 Wayne Rooney England

Many have regarded the World Cup of 2010 to be England’s best chance to reclaim the trophy the last won in 1966. A team that all over the pitch contains world class quality, and a team on it’s day could be magnificent. But what a bonus if this man could be on top form for the Three Lions, Wayne Rooney. His luck with international competitions has been absent, but after the season he just had if he could reproduce the goals and form then England will go a long way.

1 Lionel Messi Argentina

Our number one needs no explanation. The best player in the world, and arguably already one of the greatest of all time. Some people say all he needs now is a World Cup winners medal and he can be named in the same vain as his legendary coach at Argentina. With huge question marks over whether or not Argentina are stable enough to win the competition, Messi will be looked on as the man to take them all the way and cement his name in football history forever.

World Cup | Teams To Watch

2010-06-10T18:36:00.000-04:00

I'm not a huge soccer guy, but I know I'm going to get force fed World Cup coverage by the ESPN family of networks for the next four weeks, so I might as well open wide.

It kicks off tomorrow at 10am EST with the host country, South Africa taking on Mexico in Jo-burg. It will be quite the spectacle. The big game for us Americans, though, happens Saturday at 2:30pm EST when Team USA trots onto the pitch against the team from the country where people have bad teeth. The referees are learning English curse words specifically for this game. It should be epic.

Since I'm going to be watching the World Cup, I need to have an idea of which teams to like and which teams to hate. I also want to become somewhat knowledgeable on the different players competing.

SB Nation came up with World Cup Likability Rankings specifically for us American, casual soccer fans (my personal favorite other than the USA is #5):

1. THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Your country needs you, and there is no debate. If you're not American and looking for a team, may we remind you we have 100% more Hercules now?
2. SOUTH AFRICA: The homeboys not only have sentiment on their side as the beloved hosts, but also boast a spiffy nickname (Bafana Bafana, literally meaning "The boys"), have a player named "Kermit Erasmus," and have a 32-year-old striker named Siyabona Nomvete whose legs might fall off at any second. They also have zero chance of advancing from their group, making them an underdog of unparalleled degree here.
Hair? Pretty standard, and the only weak point in their resume of World Cup Likeability.
3. NEW ZEALAND: Another hopeless underdog with likable quirk. They've only made the tourney once before, take your lame Lord of the Rings jokes well, and will likely flame out in the first round cheerfully. One downside: their team name (the All-Whites) isn't exactly user-friendly for a South African tournament.
4. NIGERIA: Dysfunctional, gifted, and spectacularly coiffed, the Nigerians stand a chance, sure. They also might flame out, fire their manager while stiffing him for six months' back pay, and have their luggage stolen by their own government halfway though the group stage. Nickname "The Super Eagles" can't really be beat; neither can their unpredictable selection of hairstyles. Prone to spurts of hyper-aggressive play and shot-taking from anywhere on the field. Due to chronic mismanagement, may be kicked out of their hotel in the middle of the cup when corrupt officials steal their per diem.
Hair? Braided, popped out in full afro, and spectacularly varied.
5. COTE D'IVOIRE: ESPN might be calling them Ivory Coast, but we here at SB Nation go by the CIA Factbook only in choosing our terminology. Les Elephants may not have Didier Drogba, but they have everything else to love: attacking football, a fantastic jersey, an awesome name, status as an African underdog playing on home soil, and this seal, the greatest in all of international soccer:

Hair? Braided elaborately.
6. AUSTRALIA: The team your girlfriend or wife will most likely choose due to adorable team nickname, "The Socceroos." Filled with rangy, mean-looking white guys who would not look out of place putting on brass knuckles prepping for a Kentucky barfight. Not very good, but certainly enthusiastic. Don't stand a chance, but can certainly put a pipe in someone else's spokes in the tourney, even if they do so in horrific, ugly fashion. Only team with three marsupials in the starting lineup. Goalie has venomous barbs to protect himself against overly aggressive strikers.
Hair? A team loaded with a few quality half and quarter mullets.
7. SLOVENIA: Another low-probability pick, but one with a spectacular fan cheer: "HE WHO IS NOT JUMPING IS NOT SLOVENIAN HEY! HEY! HEY!" The Dragons score in the nickname department and the celebration one, since the team does a well-coordinated belly slide in times of triumph:

They also play England in group play, so reserve some concern rays for them even if they'd all probably rather be out pursuing Slovenians' true passion: mountain climbing. In related news, Slovenians are ridiculously well-conditioned, and hate being called Slovakian.
8. GHANA: Have one of the finer nicknames in "The Black Stars." The connaisseur's choice for African squads, since Cameroon is the obvious popular choice after the injury to Cote d'Ivoire's Didier Drogba. Insanely aggressive. Feature three dudes named "Prince," "Junior," and "Sully." Have an Olympic team name of "The Black Meteors," which should count for something here. Are already complaining about accommodations like true divas. If you like geographically skinny countries, Ghana and Chile are your choices.
Hair? Potentially spectacular, and highly variable.
9. SOUTH KOREA: The ADD kids' pick, since the South Koreans attack, attack, and then continue attacking like Asian commuters elbowing each other out of the way on crowded subway platforms. All effort and little defense, so if you like Big 12 football or run-and-gun basketball, the South Koreans are a lock for your affections. Additionally, they have the team logo most easily used as a beer label:

Korea Football Association Lager: it tries really hard all the time, and offers up no defenses. That's drinkability at its finest, there.
Hair? Floppy and frantic.
10. CAMEROON: Africans, yes, but the aristocracy of African soccer and the continent's team that has gone deepest in the Cup by reaching the quarterfinal in 1990. Makes up for all this unflattering success by being The Indomitable Lions and by having the frenetic Samuel Eto'o, who plays soccer like a rabid chicken trying to kick a balled-up armadillo to death. A quality choice for those looking to back the home continent here.
11. HONDURAS: Big and mean, and just lucky to be there, which is appealing enough on its own. Their president also knows how to wear a cowboy hat properly, and this also earns them enough points as a team you might want to take an enthusiastic but hopeless flyer on in the group stage (and definitely no further).
12. SLOVAKIA: Godfather fans and Sopranos freaks, your team is Slovakia if only because midfielder Marek Hamsik has a fondness for being photographed with mafiosi and bragging out his ability to speed with impunity thanks to "the cops in Naples all knowing who I am." They're also quite stingy with allowing goals, so cheap people, style up with the Slovaks like now. Their fans also drink like fish even by soccer standards, if you're into that. Ironically, don't mind being called Slovenian, because Slovenes are very nice people.
13. CHILE: Don't sleep on Chile, the most tactically complex side according to the geeky and necessary Zonal Marking. They won't advance, mind you, but it should be a fiery and spectacular pyrrhic victory for whomever gets on the end of their goal cannon. Additional selling point: Chile is very long and skinny on the map, so for those fans of geographically anorexic countries there is no other choice.
14. ALGERIA: Boast a fantastic nickname, "The Desert Foxes." Fans capable of extreme violence, as some unfortunate Egyptian fans found out this year when a spat between Egypt and Algeria in soccer resulted in rioting and the delay of oil shipments between the two countries. Goalkeeper Lounes Gaouaoui has what is believed to be the only surname in the world with seven vowels in a row. Don't stand a chance of winning the whole thing, and are generally likable (except when playing the US, of course).
Hair? Close-cropped, because it's hot in the desert and even soccer players have their practical limits.
15. URUGUAY: A charmingly retro pick, since Uruguay did host and win the first World Cup in 1930. A good team to pull for if you love violence, since Uruguay eschews any notion of actually scoring in favor of booting the kneecaps off their opponents and picking up red cards with glee. The Baltimore Ravens of the Cup.
16. PARAGUAY: If you like landlocked countries, this is your bet. Smart uniforms, too, which is nice because the pretty colors liven up their otherwise stultifying style of play. Shots all around if they score two goals, and for three, finish the whole bottle.
17. JAPAN: "Samurai Blue" is a hell of a name, and recent strange roster choices have reduced their chances in the World Cup to increase their general hopelessness here (and therefore their inherent likability). If you lean toward Asian imports for your World Cup adoptees, they remain a fine choice, though not as manic as the South Koreans by any stretch.
Hair? Floppy, and often dyed to match favorite anime characters.
18. DENMARK: Butter cookies. Ohhh, sweet butter cookies. These alone should engender some kind of warmth in your heart for "Olsen's Eleven," as should their general skill and effort despite a thin line. Additional charm: their fans are roligans, the anti-hooligans of Europe and generally beloved among soccer fans.
19. NETHERLANDS: Play in a hypnotic shade of orange, and certainly are very close as teammates. Very, very close:

As favored as they will be in many of the matches, the Dutch remain really likable here for their attacking style of play, and are even more likable now that dive-y forward Arjen Robben is missing at least their first match with a hamstring injury. Nicknames come strong here, too: "The Flying Dutchmen" or "Clockwork Orange."
20. GREECE: If their stagnant style of play weren't enough to cost them points here, their Euro 2004 championship reduced their underdog status to previously unimaginable level. There is an upside to their country's financial ruin, though, since the implosion of the Greek economy and subsequent fallout just made any potential European vacations a lot cheaper. So they've got that going for them, at least.
21. SPAIN: Fans favor rich hams, promiscuity, red wine, and dancing until 3 a.m.. Style of play is goal-friendly, highly skilled, and festive. Obviously gorged with talent from La Liga and blessed with a killer nickname, "The Fury." We're short on downsides because separating the Spanish team from the thought of tasty tapas and going out in Barcelona until six in the morning is clouding our judgment, so yeah: they're too good to be likable, but too sexy to resist.
22. GERMANY: A hard sell based on their skill and popularity, but nasty, aggressive, and precise soccer never loses favor here. Fearsomely nicknamed with a moniker that could double as a metal band name: Die Mannschaft. Otherwise, far too good and predictable to like.
23. ENGLAND: The Notre Dame of international football, forever moaning on about how fantastic 1966 was. If you are American, you may not root for them until after group stage, because tyranny cannot be tolerated. Have Wayne Rooney, the Super Chav who, if American, would hang out with Jared Allen in the offseason killing deer with spears and drinking beer out of cans. Prefer tea to coffee, which is how you lose a global empire in half a century.
24. SERBIA: A nation with a PR problem to start with, Serbia would just like you to ignore words like "genocide" and "sorry for starting World War I" and focus on their burly defender Nemanja Vidic and their coach Raddy Antic, who as a player really did look like the Balkan Christopher Walken. Otherwise...yeah. Serbia's got an uphill battle for your random affections, especially with fellow Yugoslav alumni Slovenia acting all charming and fun over there.
25. ARGENTINA: More likable than they've been in recent years simply for two factors: the incomparable Lionel Messi and the deranged team management of Diego Maradona. On one hand, you have the possibility of watching the greatest footballer alive rip his way through the tourney as no player in recent history has. On the other, you have the possibility of Diego Maradona inserting himself into the game in short shorts and no shirt in the second half of the World Cup final. Either way, for a dominant favorite they remain remarkably likable and capable of generating chaos in both positive and negative directions, and thus land higher than they might otherwise.
Hair? Shorter than in previous years, and no longer reminiscent of a crew of Nickelback roadies.
26. BRAZIL. The style of play isn't even what it once was: reliant on counter-attacking, and nowhere near the free-dancing sambalero play of the 1970s Selecao. Skill still remains intergalactically unfair at times, but each player has eight girlfriends, each more beautiful than the next, and really there's nothing likable about that kind of level of masculine overkill. (Anything after three is just bad taste, really.) A thing of beauty, yes, but almost alien to our species in terms of the game and how they play it.
27. FRANCE: Likability factor very, very low as they've won the Cup before, made the final in 2006, and are generally successful and very, very French about it. Coming off one of the more controversial qualifiers in European history where Thierry Henry's blatant handball caused an international political furor. Final nail in likability: French. Only real selling point? Their coach is functionally insane, and relies on astrology to determine lineups.
28. MEXICO: Mexico may not be pulled for at any time unless you are actually Mexican. If they play Italy somehow, root for a meteor to strike the stadium. There are no exceptions to this rule.
29. ITALY: Fantastically talented returning World Cup champs, and therefore near the bottom of the likability rankings instantly. They'd be here anyway for being diving, theatrical, and possessed with some of the stupidest goal celebrations of all time. (If I see one more Italian soccer player suck his thumb, I will RPG the nearest television.) They need no help from you or anyone else, because they are very good, very beloved by their home country, and everything bad Americans mock about the sport of soccer.
30. THE DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF KOREA: You just can't. I know, it might be ironic, like the asshole hipster wearing a CCCP jacket to watch a match. Aren't the players trying just because they love the game? Sure they are, but they're not going over the fence to defect because the DPRK's government probably has their relatives under armed guard while they're abroad, and would do horrific things to them if they left. You might joke, "Ha ha, Italy's evil," but no, you can actually say "The DPRK is evil." It's a fact, and as a fan, rooting for them is simply not done no matter how many layers of irony you pile onto it.
NOT LISTED:
PORTUGAL. No data found for "likability."
SWITZERLAND. We remain neutral regarding the Swiss.

Music Monday | Andrew Garcia

2010-06-07T07:36:00.001-04:00

I caught this live on American Idol and was BLOWN AWAY by what a fun performance it was.

From The Bowels Of My Brain VI

2010-06-04T22:41:00.004-04:00

It's time for. Another. Batch of unrelated thoughts. We like to call "From The Bowels Of My Brain".

Get your ski poles out.

>> People's choice of books to display on their coffee tables is fascinating.

>> I recently decided I hate drawers.

>> You know how they say to always wear clean underwear. Another way around that is to always wear brown underwear.

>> We do it so often that we forget what a delightful experience drinking milk is.

>> It's funny how saying the opposite of whatever is happening is funny.

>> Glove Compartments need a new name.

>> Can I just be honest for two seconds? A fork makes a really good head and back scratcher.

>> Nothing can unite people better than a song.

>> If you're looking for something that's consistently funny, it's hard to beat pictures of babies holding alcohol.

>> Well-told stories give you the best chance of initiating change.

>> If "Google" was instead named "Akhabbarabbadia", it wouldn't be nearly as popular.

>> Next time you hear someone say something like, "What we do do is..." immediately interrupt them and say, "You just said doodoo." and laugh like a middle school boy.

>> When a wedding officiant says, "What symbols have you brought...?", he is deceiving you. He always knows what they brought.

That's all for now. Don't do drugs.

Music Monday | The Civil Wars

2010-05-31T07:30:00.002-04:00

This is gorgeous.

"Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love - that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now - and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone - and the longer you allow someone to know you - the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known."
-Joy Williams, The Civil Wars

You can get a their live album free on Noisetrade.

Coolio

2010-05-30T07:27:00.000-04:00

Coolio's had a rough couple years. From the Personal Life section of his Wikipedia entry:

On the television program Celebrity Big Brother 2009 (UK) ^[10] 2009 Coolio talked about his 6 children by four different relationships, including a daughter born on January 21, 1987.

Coolio and jazz saxophonist Jarez were enlisted in July 2008 as spokespersons by the group Environmental Justice and Climate Change to educate students at historically black colleges and universities about global warming.^[14]

During February 2009 Coolio did a stage dive at a college show in England in Stoke-On-Trent. Nobody caught him. As he lay on the ground people stole his chains and his clothes. As James Fielden describes, "He nearly flattened one poor girl. Then all the students decided to launch on him. They grabbed whatever they could, including his trainers, watch, chains and glasses. He was pulled back on stage by the bouncers. They got his shoes back for him." ^[15]

During March 2009 he was detained at the Los Angeles airport for possession of crack cocaine.^[16]

Italics = The first 3,962 people they asked to be the spokespersons declined.
BOLD = I'm not sure I should think this section is as funny as I do.

Don't ask me how I ended up on Coolio's Wikipedia entry.

Face Plant

2010-05-29T06:13:00.002-04:00

One chilly Tuesday morning in High School, I was running late for 1st period. I whipped into the parking lot in my white ’88 Accord with the dope spoiler, moon roof and 16-inch alloy rims. DC Talk was bumpin’ on my jury rigged 12-inch sub-woofer. I screeched into one of the last available parking spaces, grabbed my Jansport and took off sprinting toward the building in my un-tied New Balance 992s. I was thirty yards from the building when I ditched the sidewalk and cut across the icy, snow-covered grass. Heading down a small hill, I slipped on the ice, stepped out of one shoe, and went careening down the hill face first. My loaded backpack flung over my head and, boom, slammed my face into the concrete around a rainwater drain. My head bounced. Stunned, I popped up and wiggled my face to feel the damage. It didn’t seem that bad. I brushed off and hurried into the building.

Knowing I had to walk in the door, in the front of the classroom, after the bell had rung, I composed myself with a five second pep talk. Play it cool. Be confident and respectful. Hold your shoulders tall and smile. Open the door quietly. Take the most efficient route to an open desk and sit down. If the teacher says anything, apologize genuinely with “I’m sorry I’m late” and leave it at that. No excuses.

Now cool, calm, and collected, I quietly opened the door. Immediately, my whole pep talk went to… My classmates’ faces showed a mix of shock, concern, and amusement. The teacher said, “Run to the bathroom. You’re bleeding.” I touched my face and felt, then saw, gobs of blood. I walked casually to the bathroom. In the mirror I saw HUGE, bright red wounds on my face along with several other scratches. Then, I saw two wet, muddy spots on my Abercrombie and Fitch cargo pants. My palms were also cut up quite a bit. I guess the combo of adrenaline and endorphins had made me temporarily oblivious to the pain I had put my body in. The face wounds were the kind where portions of my face were actually left on the concrete slab. I didn’t even want to touch them to wash them. I wet some stinky paper towels and dabbed the wounds, but there wasn’t much I could do. I cleaned up as best I could and made the shameful walk back to class, headache in full force.

The whole day and for several days after I had to answer the same question, “What happened?” I kept it fresh and created several epic scenarios as explanations, eventually telling them I slipped on ice while running to class. The following Friday night was Backwards Homecoming - the night where guys, not gals, are selected to walk awkwardly on a basketball court during halftime of a game as some sort of honor. I was on the Backwards Homecoming Court, face strawberries and all. Halftime rolls around, we line up, they call our names and we walk out in front of 1500 people while they clap and cheer (Wow, it's even more bizarre than I thought at the time). It's your moment in the little spotlight. You wear your best clothes, shave, wash your face and practice the perfect smile. And here I am with some giant strawberries on my face. Luckily, I had a pretty little lady on my left arm to distract from the way I looked. She went by the name Ashley Rose.

That was over 10 years ago and I still have that same pretty little lady on my left arm, and our son in my right.

Happy 6th, Angel. You're really good at being my wife. And now, a mommy too.

Eagle Scout

2010-05-28T10:25:00.002-04:00

Russ is an Eagle!

Eagle Scout is the highest rank attainable in Boy Scouts. My brother-in-law, Russel Benedict Rose III, has attained that rank. I don't know much about scouting, but apparently he had to do a lot to achieve it. Thus, there was a presentation ceremony for him Saturday. His future college roommate also attained Eagle Scout and was part of the same ceremony.

Each Eagle Scout honors a "Mentor" during the ceremony, someone who has made a difference in their life and helped them earn the distinction. It came time for Russ to announce the Mentor he had chosen to honor. Russ stepped forward and said, "I don't know if people usually do this, but for my mentor I've chosen my Dad." He grinned and then Papa Rose's lachrymal glands started doing work. Russ pinned the Mentor pin on Papa Rose's collar and then there was the should-we-shake-hands-should-we-hug? moment. It didn't matter what they did. Everyone knew there was a great amount of respect both ways.

Congratulations to Russ for morphing from a regular human to a majestic winged vertebrate!

Livy Reads To "Baby Keser"

2010-05-21T21:29:00.001-04:00

This was precious.

NIcknames For Kessler

2010-05-20T20:17:00.004-04:00

I love to know the back story to things, so here's a little history lesson in odd/useless knowledge:
The term "nickname" originated as an Anglo-Saxon word: ekename. In the Anglo-Saxon tongue, "eke" meant "also" or "added." The term seemed just a bit awkward to pronounce; so, it became slurred, converting ekename to nekename and finally to become nickname.

The idea of a nickname didn't come from English origins, though. They were originally common in ancient Greece and Rome, especially when used as terms of affection, which the Greeks called hupokorisma, meaning "calling by an endearing name."

Nicknames are powerful. When you call someone by a nickname, you immediately feel closer to them. They come from one's personality and can't be fabricated. Nicknames just need to sort of happen, though they're most likely to stick through ease of pronunciation, accuracy, familiarity and repetition.

A new human I'm very close to made my acquaintance a little over 5 months ago and I had a clean canvas to paint with my nickname brush. But so far, I've mainly just called him by his first given name, Kessler.

Here, though, are some other nicknames he's been called since his arrival:

K-State
Kess
KESSLAH
K-Money
K-Weezy
K-Love
Booboo bear
Punkin
Cute to boot
Little guy
Little man
The boy
Little boy
KSH
Drool Buckets
Saliva Factory
Marshmallow
Bean
Beaner
Snorty Snorterson
Sweet Cheeks
Cheeks
Pumpkin Pie
K
Bubby
Booboo
sweet boy.
Baby Keser
Baby boy
Schloz
Kessler man
Buddy
Doodle
Baby
Son

Five Months

2010-05-19T20:52:00.001-04:00

The Oball®

2010-05-18T22:23:00.005-04:00

If you know me, you know I love balls (get your mind out of the gutter). I first started keeping a bouncy ball in my right pocket my freshman year of college and kept one in my pocket almost everyday for the next nine years. It's the always-ready toy. It's portable. It bounces. It can have spin put on it. It's fun. For me, it's the perfect toy.

When we first found out we were having a boy, a lifetime worth of visions rushed through my mind's eye. A large portion of those visions involved me, my son, and a ball.

So it's only fitting the first, and really only, toy that Kessler has fallen in love with is the Oball®. For him, it works like a charm. It's colorful. He can easily grab it. He can easily pick it up and move it around. He can put some of it in his mouth, but can't suck on it too much. He can see through it and see the shapes inside it. He love's it. For him, it's the perfect toy.

No, he does not have a braces rubber band around his right wrist.

"Knock Knock" Daniel Beaty

2010-05-07T15:30:00.000-04:00

Uh, if I watch something seven times and get chills all seven times, it qualifies as bloggable.

"Shave in one direction with strong, deliberate strokes to avoid irritation. Dribble the page with the brilliance of your ballpoint pen. Walk like a god and your goddess will come to you."

As a boy I shared a game with my father.

Played it every morning 'til I was 3.

He would knock knock on my door,

and I'd pretend to be asleep 'til he got right next to the bed

Then I would get up and jump into his arms.

"Good morning, Papa."

And my papa he would tell me that he loved me.

We shared a game.

Knock Knock

Until that day when the knock never came

and my momma takes me on a ride past corn fields

on this never ending highway 'til we reach a place of high rusty gates.

A confused little boy, I entered the building carried in my mama's arms.

Knock Knock

We reach a room of windows and brown faces

behind one of the windows sits my father.

I jump out of my mama's arms

and run joyously towards my papa

Only to be confronted by this window.

I knock knock trying to break through the glass,

trying to get to my father.

I knock knock as my mama pulls me away

before my papa even says a word.
And for years he has never said a word.

And so twenty-five years later, I write these words

for the little boy in me who still awaits his papa's knock.

Papa, come home 'cause I miss you.

I miss you waking me up in the morning and telling me you love me.

Papa, come home,

'cause there's things I don't know,
and I thought maybe you could teach me:

How to shave;

how to dribble a ball;

how to talk to a lady;

how to walk like a man.

Papa, come home

because I decided a while back

I wanted to be just like you.

but I'm forgetting who you are.

And twenty-five years later a little boy cries,

and so I write these words and try to heal

and try to father myself

and I dream up a father who says the words my father did not.

Dear Son,

I'm sorry I never came home.

For every lesson I failed to teach, hear these words:

Shave in one direction in strong deliberate strokes to avoid irritation

Dribble the page with the brilliance of your ballpoint pen.

Walk like a god and your goddess will come to you.

No longer will I be there to knock on your door,

So you must learn to knock for yourself.

Knock knock down doors of racism and poverty that I could not.

Knock knock down doors of opportunity

for the lost brilliance of the black men who crowd these cells.

Knock knock with diligence for the sake of your children.

Knock knock for me for as long as you are free,

these prison gates cannot contain my spirit.

The best of me still lives in you.

Knock knock with the knowledge that you are my son,

but you are not my choices.

Yes, we are our fathers' sons and daughters,

But we are not their choices.

For despite their absences we are still here.

Still alive,

still breathing

With the power to change this world,

One little boy and girl at a time.

Knock knock

Who's there?

We are.

Google Reader Shared Items

2010-05-04T18:52:00.001-04:00

Almost 4 years ago I started a blog called Blake's (Semi) Daily Links where I would post some interesting links I had come across. I kept it going early on, posting several links a day several times a week. Then, it became Blake's (Semi) Monthly Links. Then, it became Blake's (Semi) Yearly Links. Now, it's more like Blake's (Semi) Decadely Links.

RSS Feeds started getting easier to find. Then, Twitter moved to prevalence. Then, Shared Items from Google Reader became easy to use. All of the sudden, my process for sharing links was even more antiquated and inefficient.

As of today, on the left side of the blog you can see my Shared Items from Google Reader along with my tweets. I come across a lot of quality content. Periodically, if something strikes me, I'll share it. It doesn't mean I necessarily agree, it just means I found it interesting and worth sharing.

P.S. If you don't already use a feed reader, start. I recommend Google Reader. It's the perfect way to keep up with blogs that are updated occassionally. If you use that, you can subscribe to our blog by clicking here.

From The Bowels Of My Brain V

2010-05-01T10:03:00.000-04:00

Oh Bowels Of My Brain, it's been too long my friend.

I'm about to get nostalgic

>> Those pizza rectangles from the school cafeteria, those were good. They gave lots of Middle Schoolers the squirts, but they were good.

>> When I was 9, I couldn't wait for my arm to be long enough to sit in a car with the window down and have my elbow resting and my hand able to reach all the way up to the top of the car.

>> "Backbeat the word is on the street..."

>> It's hard to believe those braided leather belts ever looked good.

>> Yes, I tight rolled. I also had the "Lazy Man's Tight Roll" jeans - elastic at the ankles. I was the bomb.

>> I still can't believe I spent $6 and 2 hours of my life on Hope Floats.

>> "Don't let the days go by. Glycerine."

>> Proud to say I never wanted or wore a Hypercolor t-shirt. I did, however, have a bowl cut and it was PHat.

>> Ladies, what I'm about to say may be painful, but it's true. No guys ever thought it was attractive when a girl had her cartilage pierced.

>> Honest question: What is a bigger drain on the economy, commemorative coins or trophies?

>> Another question: Do people still give each other titty-twisters?

>> Last question: Why in the H E double hockey sticks did we ever learn cursive?

Yo Holmes, smell ya later.

Rice Cereal Experiment

2010-04-22T21:18:00.002-04:00

Tuesday night, the timing sort of worked out and we were able to try rice cereal. Kessler was close to being really hungry, but hadn't reached the breaking point yet. Continuing the trend, the kid was money. After putting the spoon up to his mouth three or four times, he got the hang of it and began to open his mouth as you see below.

He ate a whole bowl full, plus some. It made him happy to get some food in his belly.

Of course, we only use the "EARTH'S BEST" for our son. And, it was organic!

Let the super stinky poops begin.

Kessler By The Numbers

2010-04-19T18:35:00.000-04:00

Kessler went for his four-month appointment Tuesday. Conclusion: He's long, average weight, and has a small head, thus making his cheeks seem even more disproportionately ginormous.

Kessler by the numbers:

His weight in pounds - 15.3
His weight in ounces - 245
What my weight would be in pounds at the end of this year if I gained weight at the same rate as he - 1045
Average number of diapers used on Kessler each day - 6.5

Monthly cost of those diapers - $35.88
His length in inches - 26.5
His head circumference in inches - 16.25
Esimated number of times he smiles each day - 122
Estimated number of times he's rolled over, front to back - 9

He's graduated from a swaddle and sleeps (mostly) peacefully through the night. And I think the rice cereal experiment may start tonight. The little guy's growing up.

Kessler Saying Amen

2010-04-11T19:30:00.003-04:00

Kessler gets to be with his Lolli on Friday mornings. He's been getting more and more talkative over the past few weeks. This past Friday he was in a particularly good, and talkative, mood. Lolli was ready at the right time and captured a great moment with Kessler on video.

This makes me happy and I know it.

P.S. How 'bout those cheeks!

The Next Susan Boyle?

2010-04-07T22:52:00.002-04:00

Reedikulus. FF to the 1:11 mark:

H/T: Tyler

love this boy.

2010-04-01T21:56:00.001-04:00

Our friend, Kim, was keeping the little guy a few weeks ago and snapped this pic. She sent it to us in an email with only a subject line, which read: love this boy.

I agree.

Livy Loves "Baby Keser"

2010-03-31T21:42:00.001-04:00

Ashley has been back at work for several weeks now and "Aunt Bebe" has been taking care of Kessler, along with our moms and Mrs. Kim. When Kessler is with Aunt Bebe, he's also with his cousin Livy. Livy has been displaying maternal instincts for half her life.

She LOVES baby Keser.
If she hears him wake up from his nap, she'll yell from downstairs, "I'm comin' baby."
If he's fussing, and pretty much any other time, she'll grab his pacifier (she calls it a goggi) and force it in his mouth.
She'll get a diaper when Aunt Bebe is changing him.
She gives him "pat pats."
She rubs his head.
She gives him kisses.
And she's just two years old.

Pumpkins' 60th Wedding Anniversary

2010-03-30T22:31:00.002-04:00

As the story goes, when I was really young my Dad's parents would often say, "Hey there, Pumpkin" to me a lot. So much so that I just started calling them Mamaw and Papaw Pumpkin. Even today, I have their phone number programmed into my cell phone as "Pumpkins."

Last Sunday we met the whole family in Concord to celebrate the Pumpkins' 60th Wedding Anniversary. 60 years of marriage says a lot of things: you've likely been alive for 80 years or more, you've spent about 75% of your life married to the same person, you're really patient, you're really committed, and you love each other. It's an occasion worthy of celebration.

CONGRATULATIONS Mamaw and Papaw Pumpkin!

From The Bowels Of My Brain IV

2010-03-20T22:19:00.000-04:00

The 4th group of unrelated thoughts we like to call "From The Bowels Of My Brain."

Fasten your seatbelts.

>> The easiest way to get people to like you is to laugh at their jokes.

>> The single most underrated and under discussed aspect of winning a basketball game is scoring more points than the other team.

>> I'm thinking about growing my hair out for "Locks of Love." I'm not considering it. That just happens to be what I'm thinking about as I type this.

>> Driving to and from a friend's house 8 miles away costs you $6-8; about $.40-.50/mile.

>> Tip to avoid oversleeping: Drink a lot of water before you go to sleep. When your alarm sounds, your bladder will also be screaming at you to get up.

>> Next time you want to alert someone to the fact that the scent of their breath is irritating your sense of smell remember this: Saying "You have bad breath" is much more confrontational than saying "You got some bad breaf".

>> Do you remember when it was common to say some statement that was the opposite of what you really thought and then you would say "NOT!" immediately following it? That was funny. NOT!

>> 28 years ago today I was living in a uterus.

March Madness Carol

2010-03-18T11:25:00.000-04:00

On Thursday March 17, 2005 I re-wrote a Christmas-time classic for the NCAA Tournament. Today, Thursday March 18, 2010, the NCAA Tournament starts and millions of people are thinking about and filling out their bracket.

"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
With the ballers all dunking,
and everyone yelling,
"Shut up Bill Packer"
It's the most wonderful time of the year.

There'll be plenty of gambling,
and analysts rambling
the best basketball on the globe.
there'll be great upset stories and
tales of the glories of tournaments
long, long ago.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
There'll be one cinderella
thousands of sad fellas,
wishing that they could cheer.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.

I managed to only fill out 2 brackets this year when I normally fill out at least 5. The 2 this year ended up being quite similar. I'm in it to win it. Here are my picks:

Psycho Squirrel

2010-03-17T23:31:00.000-04:00

Toward the middle of my freshman year in college, we had a gathering for Bible Study where we were challenged to wear the goofiest attire possible. While there, we got a little goofy and this ended up happening:

We call it the "Psycho Squirrel"

Moments

2010-03-10T21:30:00.002-05:00

This is likely the most beautiful film I've ever seen. I could write for hours just about the moments that create the story of our lives; the despair, the delight, the monotony and the marvel. All in a moment.

Moments from Everynone on Vimeo.

Nigerian Scams And Ben Stein

2010-03-09T18:20:00.001-05:00

After turning my buddy, Carson, on to Google Reader and RSS feeds, I slowly filled his personal email inbox with different feeds to which he should subscribe. One day I went through my feeds and sent him another large batch of suggestions. The following is the email conversation that ensued while we were at work. You'll probably be bored 3 emails in, but it made my day. Pay attention to the timestamps too.

Wednesday Afternoon

4:41pm Blake: Your Yahoo inbox is going to be pretty full when you get home.

4:55pm Carson: (In a sincere tone) As long as you have something to do with it, I'm o.k. with that.

5:03pm Blake: Well, I do have a little something to do with it. I gave your email address to the world's top 50 spammers. 14 of them are in Denmark. 9 are in Liechtenstein (the 6th smallest country in the world), 7 are from Germany, and 3 are from the landlocked African country, Djibouti. It is believed that all others are located on private islands and independent countries of no governance.

You’ll be glad Yahoo went to unlimited inbox storage…

Good luck.

The following morning I got his response.

9:07am Carson: Well, whatever you sent me, it's great. I won the lottery in 8 different countries with total winnings of over $37 billion. All I have to do is deposit this check they're gonna send me and then I wire back the funds. Once they get the money, then I'll collect my winnings. I had no idea I had a great uncle in Nigeria. But who cares, I'm a billionaire, la la la.

-C $

9:08am Blake: (Thinking that would be the end of the email exchange) Congratulations!

9:11am Carson: Thank you, and since you had a part in this, you will get .01 % of the winnings…

Hey, that’s still over $3.5 million.

9:13am Blake: Thanks…I guess you got my emails for real though. I didn't send specific articles for you to read, but I just sent the links so you could easily subscribe. Happy reading!

9:14am Carson: Yeah, good stuff, a couple of them you'd already told me about, but there were new ones too. I love Ben Stein's stuff. I wish he posted more often.

9:15am Blake: Your wish is my command. This'll keep you busy for a while. http://www.benstein.com/writing.html

9:17am Carson: (Tone unknown) You are amazing

9:21am Blake: Yeah…I love Stein too. I actually was walking with some friends in Georgetown, right outside of DC, a few years ago and I heard a familiar and distinctive voice behind me. Walking 5 paces behind me was Ben Stein and one of his buddies. My friends and I passed our planned destination and just continued to listen in as Stein got closer. I can't remember the topic Stein was discussing, but I remember that it was interesting. I slowed down on the crowded street, as he got closer and closer, eventually slowing to a tortoise pace. Ben lost his train of thought while talking and ended up running into me. I walked even slower and he said, "Hurry up kid.” I said, "Shut up BUELLER”, then offered a wily chuckle. 3 paces later, he, or it could have been his friend, pushed me from behind. A guy I was with, one of Ashley’s friends from Carolina, who had had a little too much to drink for the Bachelor party, hauled off and punched Stein’s buddy in the face…causing a big stir on the crowded streets. We kept walking while some of the crowd huddled around and some dispersed. I don’t really know what else happened with it, but that was one of the funniest nights of my life.

9:25am Carson: Shut your mouth, you expect me to believe that?

9:26am Blake: The only part of the story that is true is that I saw Ben Stein in Georgetown and he was talking with a friend and I listened to him. However, I did not even open my mouth when I wrote it so it does not require shutting.

9:28am Carson: Ok, then keep your mouth shut :)
(I think he included the smiley face as to not hurt my feelings. Such a gentle lad)

9:29am Blake: Did I have you for even one second? Please don't tell me all my work was completely in vain.

9:33am Carson: You had me until the punch in the face. Good work up until then.

9:34:21am Blake: YES!!!! That means I got you with the "BUELLER" line. I will smile the rest of the day.

9:34:21am Carson: I got suspicious at the "Shut-up BUELLER" line.

9:34:57am Blake: I am laughing out loud

9:36am Carson: Well, here's where a “Blake” story always keeps the listener suspiciously interested: Blake's sudden spontaneity vs. Blake's stone-faced fibbing.

I'm glad I made you smile. Have a great day bro.

9:38am Blake: Very well put. I especially like your use of alliteration…twice. While it probably does get the point across better,”sudden spontaneity” is a little redundant and it's like you are saying the same thing twice.

9:39am Carson: ;)
(Acknowledging Blake’s joke)

9:40am Blake: I think I am going to make this whole email conversation a blog post.

Kessler Loves His Mama

2010-03-08T21:08:00.002-05:00

Kessler is getting very responsive and full of smiles, coos, and eye contact. He celebrated his 3-month birthday yesterday by pooping on his shirt.

He is such a great kid and we have LOVED being his parents. He's rewarding us by sleeping through the night, I think every night for 2 weeks. The kid is a cool cat and he really loves his mommy. For good reason too.

Twitter Jokes Part 1

2010-03-05T13:49:00.006-05:00

These are the funniest, non-funny, template jokes you will ever read.

Feel free to contribute your additions in the comments. The possibilities are expansive.

A while back on twitter, a friend of mine wrote: What did one whale say to the other whale when they got to the whale party? (drum roll) "This blows."

Then he wrote: What did one stone say to the other stone when they got to the stone party? (drum roll) "This rocks."

Then he retweeted this: What did one peach say to the other peach when they got to the peach party (drum roll) "This is the pits"

Then I responded: What did one piece of poop say to the other piece of poop when they got to the poop party? (drum roll) "This stinks."

Then I wrote: What did one apple say to the other apple when they got to the apple concert? (snare tap) "This is hard core."

Then I wrote: I'm not even going to talk about what was said about the vacuum party.

Then I got carried away:

What did one sugar cane say to the other sugar cane when they got to the sugar party? (drum roll). "This is sweet!"

What did one wild pig say to the other wild pig when they got to the wild pig party? (drum roll) "This is boaring."

What did one crossdresser say to the other crossdresser when they got to the crossdresser party? (drum roll) "This is a drag."

So, any additions? I'll add some more in a separate post.

From The Bowels Of My Brain III

2010-03-02T17:37:00.001-05:00

You ready for another "From The Bowels Of My Brain?"

Bags of Olympic inspiration in this lot:

>> I'm glad America is not good at curling.

>> Ridicule me all you'd like. The Climb, the song Miley Cyrus sings, might be one of the best pop songs ever written.

>> I recently realized I've never watched an entire hockey game on television.

>> If marketers had decided long ago they wanted us to eat dog meat, Outback wouldn't offer the sirloin special. It'd be a slab of Saint Bernard with Rottweiler Stew as an appetizer.

>> Can we just all agree that Greetings Cards are the biggest ripoff in America?

>> We need to come up with a better phrase to describe a great moment of acheivement than, "It's something I'll always remember". For me, winning my 8th grade Geography Bee is something I'll always remember, but it's hardly on par with winning a gold medal. My suggestion: "I am really, really happy I was able to acheive this."

>> It costs about $2.50 to do a load of laundry.

>> Everyone uses the phrase "mind's eye" but no one says "mind's mouth." We should start using that term more. True story: The other day I saw the word "strategy" written, but my mind's mouth said "strategery."

>> The best male and best female American skiers of my lifetime also have
some the the coolest names: Bode Miller and Picabo Street.

>> People who hate laughing are annoying. I don't know anyone like this, but I think you can agree that if someone hated laughing that would be annoying.

>> Relative to how bad it actually is, nothing is more frustrating than your Chapstick getting stuck in the lid.

>> You know that feeling when you wake up on a Saturday morning after a good night's rest, the sun's shining through the blinds, The Avett Brothers is playing through the speakers and your 12-week old son is smiling at you. That's a good feeling.

Comfortable With Uncertainty

2010-02-28T14:35:00.000-05:00

There's all sorts of leadership gobbledygook out there. It makes it difficult to weed through and actually find something of value. I thought this nugget was particularly valuable:

"Maybe the hardest part of leadership—be it leading a company, a family, a relationship or simply your own life—is that often times you don’t know and you still have to act. Leadership in some ways is built on learning to be comfortable with not knowing, with imperfect knowledge, with the inherent uncertainty of it all."

— The Monster In Your Head » Comfortable with Uncertainty

h/t - Bijan

"Who Vs. "That"

2010-02-27T14:55:00.000-05:00

Can I just get something off my chest; it's petty and will only take a light flick? Thank you.

Recently (over the past 14 years), I've been noticing a lot how people use "that" when they should use "who." Even professional journalists do it. In fact, it's rare I observe someone use it correctly. Rule: Use "who" when referring to people. Use "that" when referring to groups or things.

Truthfully, it doesn't really matter which you use. Truthfully, I don't talk correctly all the time either. This is just one of those pet peeves that I had to get off my chest. A sentence is easier to understand when you use "who" when you're supposed to. People that don't talk correctly frustrate me.

The Swell Season

2010-02-26T09:50:00.005-05:00

I'm in a music kind of mood this brisk, sunny Friday.

I'm lovin' Falling Slowly by The Swell Season.

Male-Pattern Baldness

2010-02-22T18:04:00.002-05:00

Who knew 11 week olds could experience male-pattern baldness?

From The Bowels Of My Brain II

2010-02-21T13:37:00.002-05:00

And now for the second batch of "From The Bowels Of My Brain."

Let's do this.

>> The words “flammable” and “inflammable” mean the same thing: “easily set on fire”

>> "Loosen", "unloosen", and "unloose" all mean the same thing too.

>> I blame the above facts on the people of England.

>> If you're going to publicly discuss the ending of a movie, TV show, game, sporting event, court case, or similar and there is a greater than 1% chance I am not aware of the outcome, I plead with you to say or write "SPOILER ALERT" and allow ample time for me to disengage before proceeding. Thank you.

>> Soda is a dessert. And should be consumed as such.

>> Certain words are just fun to say. I really like to say "particularly". I say it like, "parTICulaurly." Try it. It's fun. And if you say it in a sentence with a British accent you sound really smart. Weird, but smart.

>> If you're reading this in August, I have no idea how you found this post and I'm sorry your life is so boring.

>> Why in the world any regular person would buy a clothes hanger is beyond me.

>> I proclaim popcorn as the most under appreciated food in America, both for its flavor/texture and the ingenuity of its creation.

>> Nilla wafers are really good too.

>> Figure Skating's prominent TV coverage is one of life's great mysteries.

Out.

Wolfpack or Tarheels?

2010-02-20T21:26:00.003-05:00

So N.C. State Men's Basketball isn't having a great season. The team had a good home win over Wake Forest today to improve to 3-10 in the ACC. But, if they win the rest of their games they'll be National Champs!!!

The Tarheels, well, they're terrible this season too. Almost as bad as the Wolfpack. Victories have been tough to come by. It's now been 41 days since they've beaten any team other than the Wolfpack.

These facts have laid a general morose over the basketball season in the Hill house. Last Saturday, though, we were assured one of our teams would get a victory. We put Kessler in the "House Divided" outfit his Loli made for him and settled in for what we hoped would be a competitive game. Loli and Pops came over to watch the game (and play with their grandson). The Heels won 74-61 over the uninspired Wolfpack.

(Notice the Half UNC Half NCSU pants)

Kessler was disappointed about the loss, but not nearly as animated about it as this guy:

Christmas With The Hills

2010-02-11T23:19:00.001-05:00

Whoops, it's February and I'm posting a Christmas post. I had this post teed up 5 weeks ago, but it slipped my mind.

For the past 5 years, the weeks surrounding Christmas have been a fun time for the Hill family. It's a small reunion. All 3 kids and any significant others come to The New Miami and we basically just hang out all the time. We mainly hang at the 'rents' house. Mom fixes a bunch of good, casseroley dishes and we play games, go on walks, watch movies, eat, listen to music, make music, eat, play games, rinse, repeat. There's a certain familiar rhythm to our time together. This Christmas, it suddenly went from a simple 3/4 meter to a compound 9/8. Two new Hills joined the fold by way of chromosomal combination. It was Kessler's first Christmas and our 5-month old Niece, Honey Cate's first Christmas. It was a new rhythm, but a welcome one. Many of the familiarities remained; the games, the laughter, the Hill Holiday Holla, the music, and, of course, the casseroles.

Many memories are made over those few weeks and I look forward to the tradition continuing for many years to come. Viva la Christmas with the Hills.

Here are some snapshots from those few weeks which include some great moments with the Roses (Ashley's family) as well.
(Hover over the picture and click the paper icon for captions.)

Kessler Goes Sledding

2010-02-05T11:31:00.004-05:00

We got some more snow here in The New Miami. Last snow, Kessler was a little too young to play in it, so we had to take advantage of the soft, white, crystallized water droplets this time around. Who knows when we'll get another snow like that again.

We put him in his toddler snowsuit, threw him on the disc sled, gave him a 1-2-3-go and off he went. He wasn't all that interested. By that I mean, he just laid there. He didn't realize he wasn't lying inside on the floor. Remember, babies are dumber than dogs.

It was fun to watch him slide down the hill on the snow. Ashley wasn't even nervous. She just smiled and waited for him to slide down to her. You can see a really boring, soundless, almost pointless, 3 second, stop-motion video of his first sled here on the Youtubes. How's that for a sales pitch? Sad thing is, now I'm thinking you're more likely to click over to the video. But now that you read that last sentence, maybe you're less likely to click over. Oh, forget it. I'm going to bed.

Kessler's Favorite Whiskey

2010-01-31T17:49:00.004-05:00

What better way to stay warm on a cold, snowy day than with a smooth as silk American blend.

From The Bowels Of My Brain

2010-01-25T16:20:00.012-05:00

Periodically I will post a batch of unrelated thoughts. I'm calling this "From The Bowels Of My Brain", which may not be accurate because the thoughts originated in my mind, but I like the alliteration and the fact that I can use the word "bowels" without talking about poop.Well, I just ruined that.

Here we go.

>> I was attracted to Walgreen's because of their $2.99 Milk sale. I spent $9.84. Drugstore sales work.

>> The vast majority of shoes sold in America are ugly.

>> I just realized recently that the sound of snapping your fingers comes, not from friction, but from your middle finger banging against the base of your thumb. Don't act like you've thought about that before. Or maybe I'm just dumb.

>> If we wash our bodies and our dishes with warm water, why don't we wash our teeth with it?

>> The ONLY thing you can talk about with a stranger on an elevator is the weather.

>> If I had a nickel for every time I've heard the phrase "Eight to fifteen inches of snow is expected in the Triad", I'd be five cents richer.

>> "Congratufreakinlations" autocompletes on my phone. Maybe I should come up with a better congratulatory phrase.

>> Brett Favre is 40.

>> It is not possible to not watch "The Fugitive" if you stumble upon it on TV.

>> One of the least fulfilling experiences a human can have: Holding back a sneeze.

>> One of the benefits of having a kid is that it gives you a chance to blog about something other than, "Today I stared at spreadsheets and PowerPoint Presentations while surrounded by gray fabric for 9 hours. Then I came home."

>> Babies are dumber than dogs. #fact

>> Never doubt meteorologists.

>> Eating ice cream with a fork is a better experience than eating it with a spoon.

Finally, I would like to dedicate this post to the first person who drank the white fluid that comes out of a cow's teat.

Sister On Haiti

2010-01-18T17:41:00.002-05:00

Sister Abby with her boyfriend, Allan

My sister is a 2nd grade teacher in Copan Ruinas, Honduras. She walks through dirt (and mud) streets to school each morning. The power goes out in the whole town on a daily basis. Meat for sale sits on tables, uncovered, in the street. Many kids she interacts with have no toys, few clothes, and limited food options. Thus, she has a unique perspective on the disaster in Haiti.

She posted to her blog the other day about Haiti and I thought it was worth sharing here.

Snippet:

"...I just cannot imagine everything I know being taken from me, my family killed/injured, my home demolished, my city streets un-walkable, the hospital ruined, no power, no water….and the list continues. and I certainly cannot imagine a city/town having to recover from destruction like that, or the disease that is going to follow such a terrible disaster. I tried to imagine if something like that happened in Copan, what would the people do? It breaks my heart to think that the people in Haiti are similar to the people in Copan in terms of wealth, and just the devastation and long, long road that is ahead of them. I have questioned the Lord a lot this week on why this happened to Haiti? One of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere. They already had SO little…and why this now? It just doesn’t make sense. But today, I was journaling and the Lord just reminded me that He is exactly that…the Lord. and He is in control. He knows those people. He feels for those people. He loves those people so incredibly much..."

Kessler Is Home

2010-01-11T18:16:00.006-05:00

WARNING: If you don't like to see pictures of babies hooked up to medical machines, then don't look below. (Ashley's note)
------------------------------------------------------------

The last four days have taught us a lot and given us perspective as to just how blessed we are. When you first find out you're having a kid, everyone asks if you want a boy or a girl. The clichéd answer is, "So long as it's a healthy baby." I avoided saying that, though it was true. You envision your life with a baby and the baby growing just how you did and how a lot of others have. But you also realize that things don't always go how you envision them. We know several parents who've had children with debilitating ailments from skin disease to brain tumors. After these past four days, I can say, "I can imagine what that would be like," but that's all it would be, imagining. There was never really a moment where I thought there was a likely chance for long-term issues resulting from Kessler's sickness. For that, I'm thankful.

Last Sunday night, Kessler came down with a minor cold, or so we thought. He became more congested to the point he was having trouble breathing by Thursday night. Friday morning, we took him to the doc where his oxygen saturation was found to be low. Off to Baptist Hospital we went where they did a chest x-ray, a deep nasal suction, and a couple other tests. They said it was RSV, a respiratory infection that is risky for infants, and admitted Kessler for monitoring. Later that day, his breathing worsened and his oxygen saturation briefly dipped to 55%. A cannula was then placed in his nose to provide a steady stream of O_2.

After a few apneic spells, the doctors thought it best for him to move to an area of more acute care where he could be monitored closely. This also would help a concerned mother rest more easily.

His thick congestion continued to make it difficult for him to breathe throughout the night. So much of the guy's energy had to be focused on breathing that he was unable to sleep or eat. To get him some energy, they had to start an IV in his little arm. You'll see the heavy duty wrap and medicine cup to keep him from ripping out the IV.

Friday night was his roughest night. He had trouble sleeping and didn't eat for almost 24 hours. As a parent, you're toeing the line of trusting God and worrying. I laid in the room the whole night, most of the time praying for him to calm and get some rest and for some of his congestion to clear. His stomach was empty. He was exhausted. Yet he couldn't rest, because he couldn't breathe. For a four or five hour stretch he would spit out his pacifier, cry, and fight to breathe through the thick mucous. I would get up and dip his pacifier in some sucrose and put it back in his mouth to soothe him. This worked for a bit until he got worked up again because of the congestion. Every 45 minutes the nurse would come in to deep suction his nose; running a plastic tube down each nostril to help clear the junk. Let's just say Kessler didn't like that too much. But, it helped. And gradually he got better. He got a little rest. We were able to hold him. Saturday, we moved to a regular Pediatric room. He was in better shape, but still needed oxygen and the IV and was still having trouble eating. Sunday came around. He rested more. He ate. He breathed. They stopped the deep suction. He ate some more. And slept some more. And breathed easier. And so did his parents. Around 6pm Sunday night, the feisty boy decided he didn't want the cannula in his nostrils any longer. So I watched his oxygen saturation level and it remained at 100%! He had no fever. He had turned the corner. Ash had stepped out to get a snack and I called her to celebrate. This was the best news we had gotten in quite some time, and somewhat unexpected as well.

The medical staff monitored him for another 18 hours and he maintained his solid vital stats. Now, we're home and he's gone from a taped-up, medicine-cup-on-hand, IV-in-vein, hard-to-breathe, uncomfortable little boy to a cute, colla-poppin' little boy more like the Kessler you see below.

Thank you for your prayers and concern. An easy-breathing Kessler just spent the last 2 hours asleep on my chest - one of the best feelings in the world.

Unintentional Comedy

2010-01-09T07:09:00.001-05:00

Some people love unintended comedy. It's not really my thing, but this is THE standard for unintended comedy. So, I had to share.

This scene is from a movie called "Undefeatable".

Gotta love the internet.

HT: The Cavin

Picturing The Decade

2010-01-07T20:45:00.001-05:00

The NY Times consistently delivers interesting graphics. You have to spend some time with them and this one is no exception. But imagine how many words it would take to communicate everything in this graphic.

It's fun to look through all this and remember the past decade.

Our New Little Family

2010-01-06T18:33:00.002-05:00

More to come...

Baby In A Commercialized Christmas-Related Outfit

2010-01-05T17:56:00.005-05:00

It continues to strike me as odd how we put these little humans in outfits and take pictures of them like they're some exhibit. Maybe I'll get used to it someday.

But for now, I do think this pic of Kessler in a Christmas outfit is pretty darn cute.

More to come...

Willpower and New Year's Resolution(s)

2010-01-04T17:46:00.002-05:00

Spreading resolutions out over time is the best approach.

Excerpt from a fascinating article on willpower and decision making:

"Willpower, like a bicep, can only exert itself so long before it gives out; it's an extremely limited mental resource.
Given its limitations, New Year's resolutions are exactly the wrong way to change our behavior. It makes no sense to try to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time, or to clean the apartment and give up wine in the same month. Instead, we should respect the feebleness of self-control, and spread our resolutions out over the entire year. Human routines are stubborn things, which helps explain why 88% of all resolutions end in failure, according to a 2007 survey of over 3,000 people conducted by the British psychologist Richard Wiseman. Bad habits are hard to break—and they're impossible to break if we try to break them all at once."

HT: Heath Brothers