From The Bowels Of My Brain

Periodically I will post a batch of unrelated thoughts. I'm calling this "From The Bowels Of My Brain", which may not be accurate because the thoughts originated in my mind, but I like the alliteration and the fact that I can use the word "bowels" without talking about poop.Well, I just ruined that.

Here we go.

>> I was attracted to Walgreen's because of their $2.99 Milk sale. I spent $9.84. Drugstore sales work.

>> The vast majority of shoes sold in America are ugly.

>> I just realized recently that the sound of snapping your fingers comes, not from friction, but from your middle finger banging against the base of your thumb. Don't act like you've thought about that before. Or maybe I'm just dumb.

>> If we wash our bodies and our dishes with warm water, why don't we wash our teeth with it?

>> The ONLY thing you can talk about with a stranger on an elevator is the weather.

>> If I had a nickel for every time I've heard the phrase "Eight to fifteen inches of snow is expected in the Triad", I'd be five cents richer.

>> "Congratufreakinlations" autocompletes on my phone. Maybe I should come up with a better congratulatory phrase.

>> Brett Favre is 40.

>> It is not possible to not watch "The Fugitive" if you stumble upon it on TV.

>> One of the least fulfilling experiences a human can have: Holding back a sneeze.

>> One of the benefits of having a kid is that it gives you a chance to blog about something other than, "Today I stared at spreadsheets and PowerPoint Presentations while surrounded by gray fabric for 9 hours. Then I came home."

>> Babies are dumber than dogs. #fact

>> Never doubt meteorologists.

>> Eating ice cream with a fork is a better experience than eating it with a spoon.

Finally, I would like to dedicate this post to the first person who drank the white fluid that comes out of a cow's teat.