Saturday, August 21, 2010

From The Bowels Of My Brain IX

Let's  get it started    in heeeeeeere.

Running, running and running, running:

>> "For your convenience" means you're about to be inconvenienced.

>> "With all due respect" means you are about to be disrespected.

>> "We're unable to make it" means your party sounds lame.

>> "Please listen as our menu options have recently changed" means we changed our automated voice response menu options a year or two ago but it was really annoying to change them so now we don't feel like updating the pre-recorded message.

>> "To make a long story short" makes your story longer.

>> Based on a lengthy study and in-depth statistical analysis I have determined that 79% of the time someone writes "lol" they are lying. This is assuming you still believe "lol" means "laugh out loud" instead of the definition I've adopted; "A response used to acknowledge that something is either funny or an acknowledgment that someone attempted to provoke laughter or provide amusement"

>> Billion dollar idea: Bananas that don't bruise.

>> And I wouldn't even know how to spell bananas were it not for Gwen Stefani.

>> One of the many great things about From The Bowels Of My Brain is that you get to relearn your Roman Numerals.

>> Whoever wrote the ABC song should've made the whole L M N O P section a little easier for the children.

Until next time, peoples. Gohead doyur thang.

1 comment:

  1. so this is my favorite of your bowel posts