'Bout time for another "From The Bowels Of My Brain". Wait for it. Wait for it. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
And we're off:
>> So far, I think the best part of having a kid is that they can't do anything for themselves. Interestingly, that too is the worst part.
>> Some people just can't take advice.
>> The insert button on a keyboard drives me crazy.
>> I've found that when someone is having difficulty deciding between 2 options, the best thing to do is flip a coin. While it's in the air, or soon thereafter, their actual desire becomes clear.
>> Prediction for next huge diet fad: Tasteless, invisible, calorie-free meals.
>> I wonder if more money has been spent on anything as ugly as those hats they make you wear for graduation ceremonies.
>> I still get slightly more than a smidgen of satisfaction from winning my 8th grade Geography Bee.
>> If you're a waitress under 60 years old and you don't know me, you can't call me "darlin".
>> It seems beer has a monopoly on being "Ice cold"
>> It's impossible for the phrase "y'all come back" to not be accompanied by either "and see us" or "now ya hear"
>> Summer, use a light-weight bed spread. Winter, use a heavy bed spread. Save on heating and cooling year round. Thank me later.
>> Event organizers, adding "palooza" to a regular word for your event name does not make it more appealing.
>> Sleeping is the most boring thing I've ever done.
>> Truth be told, I'm not that big of a fan of U2's music.
>> Two of my new favorite things to say: Bocanegra and vuvuzela.
>> I'd like to use this sentence to question the world's need for Koozies.
>> Sometimes I wipe my lips with the back of my hand and then smell it to see if I have bad breath. #justbeinghonest
That's all for now. I have to go trim my ear hair.